hello, I have been quiet for a long time again… I apologise.
I continue to acquire knitwear, vintage and new but I now have a mending pile that is beginning to annoy me.
I need to just bite the bullet and sit down to do it, but like everything the past couple of years it seems like a monumental effort.
some have big holes that will require planning:
Others are lace which will also need thought as to how I will approach:
I have a few yokes I need to decide whether i’m going to lower the necks or just sell on:
an allover that just needs to be washed and boarded to look its best:
and finally, a cardi that just requires a change of buttons but seems to have the most buttons i’ve ever seen?
Since my last post, I am still struggling with my self-confidence. I spent my teens and 20s floating through life, not really tapped into how I really viewed myself (I can see now!). Somehow, my 30s seem to be the opposite, and this, in turn, has affected my confidence in my voice. It’s frustrating and discombobulating, but I want to do more writing here – even if the vulnerability makes me uncomfortable..
so I will be back again, hopefully with the results of some mending, of myself and knitwear… xx
ella gordon 
Delighted to have you back! Your posts give me great pleasure—always interesting and thought provoking. Your voice is worth hearing.
Hi Ella,
I’m in my early 30s and I have also struggled with my self-confidence over the years.. just a quick note to say I hope so much for you that your confidence grows and you feel more settled in yourself. I hope the same for myself too. I couldn’t read your vulnerable post without sending just a tiny reply..
Lily
Thank you Lily 🧡
So lovely to see a post from you, and what a fabulous collection of knitwear! Personally I love the existing buttons on the cardigan for that little pop of colour.
OMG! Someone whose pile of mending is as big as mine! But I love what you are doing, helping lost, unloved knitwear to feel loved again. I am so hoping you’ll get your groove back, this 70 year old grandma in New Mexico enjoys reading you very much. Thank you, Ella, for being you and for sharing yourself with us. Much Aloha, Heather
OMG! Someone whose pile of mending is as big as mine! But I love what you are doing, taking no longer loved knitwear and helping it to feel loved again. And Ella, I hope you get your groove back, this 70 year old granny in New Mexico loves to read whatever you write.
Thank you, Ella.
Much Aloha, Heather
Always enjoy hearing from you and seeing your knitwear collection (and I love your own designs!) Robin from Durham, NC
>
I’m glad to hear from you, Ella! I find your posts and your thoughts interesting. You’re going to make those sweaters so happy to be whole again. Those holes look daunting to me. Hugs from Dot in North Carolina.
Dear Ella,
We’ve never met, but I wanted to thank you for your vulnerability, and perhaps give you some encouragement. After 40 years, I left an abusive marriage and found myself in my 60’s, trying to figure out who I was. My self-confidence had been erased, and I was re-discovering the voice I had stopped using for so long.
I don’t know your situation, but I can tell you this- everything you’re going through and will go through is for your good. Besides yourself, the only other person in the Universe you need to please is God Almighty, and He already loves you more than you love yourself. Whatever voices you hear telling you you’re “less than” or that you need to be invisible are outright lying. You were created with joy and that’s how your Maker views you.
Now 65, I’m giving myself permission to get rid of projects that feel like obligation and weight and “should”. I’m purging “bad” yarn from my stash. Life has given me another go-around, and it’s been marvelous. (In fact, after I learned to love myself, a real partner entered my life- we’ve been married for three years now. )
Life is short- shorter than we all think it is. Live- it’s what you were made for. You are amazing.
Cheers, Kathy
Making yourself vulnerable can help to dispel
your fears and unfounded self criticism. I think you are very brave.
So very glad you’re back, Ella. I agree with the above replies and really hope you’ll feel on more solid ground. As far as I’m concerned, you’re a major talent in addition to being a lovely person. May you continue to flourish!
Dear Ella Gordon,
True you are not alone. I know how it feels.
Meanwhile I’m enjoying life since I decided not to think about myself so much. But also because I enjoy my now adult Children.
you live at a place which is after all einzigartig. Your skills are also very amazing and you choose your stack of colorful cardigans and…
when Winter comes you work on them. But now it’s Summer ⛱️ so enjoy living in this exciting place in our World
Big Hug and love to you
Andrea who likes your work
I really enjoy reading your blogs – you write so well! Keep it up x
Great to read this Ella and see you back. Hoping to read more later , it is so good to read posts about Shetland knitting from a Shetland person and especially one as talented as you.
Hello Ella, it’s good to hear from you and to see the mending pile, some lovely knitteds. Try to think about th
What a lovely pile of recued knitwear, even with the holes. Keep up the good work. X
Dear Ella,Sorry you are feeling a bit of a mending pile! I think we all flo
Hi Ella, sorry to hear about this issue regarding self-confidence. It is a very common condition though, and you are not only fantastically brave to share it, but you have now made the first step towards working through it. Well done! Just keep working on it, at your own pace, and intuitively and I think you will make progress. And, always accept help and support.
Best of luck, and good wishes, Susannah Shelton
I think you have already made the first positive step, just sharing your feelings is very brave indeed. Just keep working on progress, however slowly, but intuitively. Always accept help and support where possible too.
best wishes and lots of luck to you Ella,
Susannah Shelton
We look forward to hearing from you, but only when you’re ready. Giving yourself space and time is the best self care gift.
take care…
I thoroughly enjoy reading anything written by you Ella. Your insight into the history of Shetland designs and your thoughts on colour in your own work is so well explained and really resonates with me. Your knitwear collection is fascinating and I love your own designs and understanding how your influences come to have a bearing on your pieces is very enlightening and refreshing to hear. Mental health struggles can seem overwhelming and all-encompassing but there is always a new day and a fresh start. This time will pass and the clouds will lift. Wishing you well xx