I am still here..I dont know about you but this past nearly two years have sucked alot of my creativity from me. I have hardly knit anything for months, the urge has gone. It will come back, I hope.
I thought the older i got the more sure of myself I would become – more assertive, know what I deserve and be brave enough to ask for it but instead im quiet, unsure of my voice and unconfident in it. That has made blogging difficult, I second guess myself and my voice.
I used to share lots more of my vintage collection, happy to give inspiration but over the years people take advantage of that. I see things where people have just copied it but not given me any credit. I dont own the rights to these things, but I do to the photos.. I chose to not copy my vintage knitwear and make money off it, why is it ok for others to do it just because they found a picture of it?
Sometimes when you post a picture on instagram people just comment ‘pattern?’ this annoys me so much. Shetland and its knitting was once seen as an untapped market – people came here, took inspiration, copied patterns and made it into things to sell. This still happens, some occasions annoy me more than others. Earlier this year someone took one of my patterns, changed the motifs and released it as a free pattern.. I couldnt beleive it. This makes me not want to share things, design things.
It makes me tired.
I have always been a worrier, when i was a child I would lie in bed and worry about anything and everything, one of my favourites was ‘the universe’ I’d imagine me lying in my bed and zoom out further and further until I was in the night sky surrounded by stars and just worry about the fact I existed… lol.
When you have spent your life worrying about bad things happening then a pandemic hits its almost validation – for me its the middle ground we are in at the moment thats hard, things are normal but not. You can go places but cant, people come to Shetland, but should they?
One postive thing is today my pattern in the new Shetland Wool Week Annual was revealed, its a tank top and the first all over Fair Isle garment I’ve designed. It was made in January/February so it feels like a very long time ago, however I did take lots of pics so if you are interested I could do a post about that?
You can pre-order the annual here
I’m sorry to come back and be so doom and gloom but that is where I am at the moment, I hope to lighten up and now i’ve done a post I hope it will be easier to write again soon.